Draw a Line in the Sand

A line in the sand refers to a point beyond which one will not go; a limit to what one will do or accept.

Are you allowing other people to make you feel bad about you?

At some point we have to stop allowing other people’s words, behavior, opinions, innuendos or attitudes control how we feel about ourselves.

This is easier said than done, especially when we receive an unkind comment, or experience betrayal in a friendship. Certainly, these scenarios can be confusing, and upsetting, which takes some time to process.

However, what adds to the pain is feeling bad about ourselves or blaming ourselves for why others are acting in certain ways.

Similarly, we have to cease allowing or believing any negative thoughts we have about ourselves as well, and quit making self-destructive comparisons with others.

For instance, there comes a time when we decide to not make our worth be dependent on how many ‘likes’ we receive or ‘followers’ we have on social media or comparing ourselves to others created personas.

Additionally, we realize that staying with certain friends, jobs, or activities that become unhealthy is personally harmful, and we rise above being scared or uncomfortable to make the necessary changes.

To that end, it is a blessing when challenges or discomfort occurs because it motivates us into action by:

  • Letting us know it may be time to move on
  • Forcing us to stand up for ourselves
  • Learning how to handle emotions in a less personally damaging way

In short, we eventually draw a line in the sand when the pain gets too great and we’ve had enough!

Where do you draw the line?

The Right Relationship Starts with You


Be a Truth Teller


When asked how we’re doing, many of us can probably relate to saying ‘I’m FINE’ when we really aren’t. It is actually refreshing to hear someone admit that they don’t feel perfectly wonderful all the time, as presented in the video.

As mere humans, we have a whole range of emotions which thankfully means there isn’t something wrong with us if we aren’t feeling wonderful every minute.

The beautiful part about telling the truth or admitting we don’t always feel fine, is that it opens the door to receiving the necessary help we many need in a particular situation, and allows us to assist others as well.

Additionally, there are great conversations to be found with truth tellers who share beyond the level of ‘small talk.’ Small talk is defined as polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters, especially as engaged in on social occasions.

Certainly, these types of conversations are more appropriate for certain situations, but a steady diet of it can be emotionally draining and deprive us of the needed connection that honest sharing can bring.

Saying ‘I’m fine’ doesn’t necessarily mean we aren’t telling the truth, but only we can be the judge of that, as we are the only ones who knows what’s really going on inside us.

How do you honor your truth?

The Right Relationship Starts with You


Grant Yourself Permission

Many books are written about the importance of setting personal boundaries with others and the emotional penalties for not saying ‘no’ when we need to.

However, it is equally important to say ‘yes’ when we need to as well!

We only need our own permission to start treating ourselves better now!

What wonderful way can you say YES to yourself today?

The Right Relationship Starts with You

Acquire Contentment

There is no end of craving. Hence contentment alone is the best way to happiness. Therefore, acquire contentment. – Swami Sivananda

Contentment is often defined as a state of happiness and satisfaction.

Usually, we think that happiness and satisfaction can only occur once we get the dream house, perfect mate, desired career or other circumstance we want.

Certainly, there is nothing wrong with wanting and receiving any of those desires, however, it only becomes troublesome if we wait until their arrival in order to feel good.

What usually happens when our desired dreams haven’t materialized yet, is that dissatisfaction sets in and disrupts our peace of mind.

Ironically, sometimes our mere attitude of discouragement and upset can keep away or prolong receiving our coveted desires.

For instance, the negative energy that radiates from our unhappy feelings isn’t likely to attract a potential mate or prospective career opportunity. Unfortunately, anger tends to create an unpleasant atmosphere around us, and keeps positive opportunities away, which can cause even more internal upset or confusion.

Therefore, on the way to achieving our goals, it is important to feel contended ahead of their arrival and be in a positive state of mind as if they were here today.

It is vital that we create a contended life now, and enjoy the journey or process that is involved in achieving our objectives, rather than just enjoying the outcome.

I know when writing my book, I created a mock book cover and kept it on my desk, which was motivating and brought satisfaction ahead of its completion.

At the end of the day, life is too short to wait to be happy. We can usually find something or someone to be grateful for now, and joyfully walk toward other avenues of fulfillment as well.

What helps you feel contented?

The Right Relationship Starts with You

Assess Your Communication Style

Recently I was involved in a group where one of the participants was quite harsh in her communication style such as using accusatory language and hostile behavior. It made for an unpleasant experience for all the people concerned.

This kind of situation happens in work places as well, where a certain coworker can be very difficult to work with and makes our job environment very uncomfortable as well.

Unfortunately, we don’t often have control over the people who sign up for a particular group or the personnel that is hired at a company.

However, we certainly can speak up for ourselves, have boundaries, and not engage in the drama that can surround such individuals.

Interesting enough, people are often unaware of how inappropriate and unkind their communication delivery is, and when confronted will seem surprised by how they are being perceived.

Therefore, being mindful of how we speak and the tone of voice we use is so essential, and a very important goal for improving our relationships.

That said, it can be very valuable to assess our communication styles by asking ourselves the following questions in order to increase our awareness:

  • Am I kind and considerate when I express myself with my tone, words, and delivery?
  • Do I dominate a conversation, or do I actually listen to others, too?
  • Do I become defensive when someone indicates I’ve hurt their feelings?
  • Am I more focused on what I want to say than what others have to say?
  • Am I open-minded enough to respect the viewpoints of others even if they differ from my own?
  • Do I jump to negative conclusions about others or get offended easily?

How did you do with answering the list?

The Right Relationship Starts with You

Roll with It

At some point in our life, we all experience times when something doesn’t go our way, even when we have taken all the right actions.

For instance, we might have returned to school to study a particular trade, but didn’t land our dream job right out of school. Or we might have been turned down for a promotion we worked hard for, or didn’t get the dream house we desired after saving for many years.

It is normal to have certain expectations about the outcomes we desire. However, if we don’t get the results we want, then we have to let go in the present moment, and trust that the outcome will be better for us down the road.

Letting go, and accepting a particular outcome doesn’t mean giving up or abandoning our dreams altogether, it just means we might have to find another way, or move in a different direction for the time being.

Experiencing any disappointment can be a challenge while we are going through it, and it is usually only in hindsight, that we can see the blessings behind the postponements.

Thankfully, we usually end up finding a better job, starting our own company, or finding a better house than the one we originally planned on.

However, in the meantime, a good way to move through the waiting process is to cultivate a feeling of gratitude for the things we already have, and feel the appreciation that ensues.


What 5 things are on your gratitude list today?


The Right Relationship Starts with You