Try Something New

As we know, a routine is “a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.”

When is the last time you stepped outside of your daily routine and tried something new?

I have been doing a lot of that lately.

For instance, for the fall semester, I will be working at a local university as a teacher’s assistant for an undergraduate psychology class.

I will remain writing my blog and other coaching activities, but thought this would be a great opportunity to extend myself and be a part of helping a class on a subject that I enjoy.

With regards to college, usually I have been a student, so it will be enlightening to see the other side of the educational format.

Similarly, this is not my usual training venue that I’ve utilized in coaching, so it will be instructional for me from that perspective as well.

In order to hopefully stimulate some routine busting, I thought I would rerun a poem I shared some time ago. I would love to hear about new things you are doing or want to be doing in the near future.

Please share your thoughts below and let’s inspire and support each other.

My Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail,
the same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
but stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.  

I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much,
I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
but deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win,
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true,
reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you!

– Author Unknown

Be Assertive

Recently, I’ve had several conversations regarding the topic of assertiveness, and there does seem to be a lot of varied opinions or beliefs on the matter.

Often, many of us associate assertiveness with aggressiveness, but they are not the same thing.

Assertiveness is simply speaking up for ourselves without hostility or stomping over other people’s rights. It is not about trying to change people or being cruel or unkind, whereas, aggressiveness is controlling, hostile and repugnant.

Often those who struggle with expressing themselves were raised to be “good” girls and boys who were taught to avoid making relational waves or asking for what they needed.

Additionally, many were directly or indirectly instructed to believe that being a nice person meant doing whatever anyone asks of them, without taking themselves into account.

However, this kind of nice or self-sacrificing pattern of living keeps us from setting boundaries and leads to destructive people-pleasing behaviors such as saying ‘Yes’ when we mean ‘No.’

Ultimately, these types of dishonest responses will negatively impact our interpersonal relationships.

For instance, if we do everything for everyone all the time, they consciously or unconsciously begin to take advantage of us, which we taught them by continuing to carry their weight and ours too!

Therefore, people-pleasing is ultimately not very pleasing because submerging our genuineness often leads to resentment toward others!

These resentments can lead to passive-aggressive behavior which has been referred to as “sugar coated hostility” in the form of subtle or (not so subtle) snide remarks, silent treatment or withholding affection.

Having genuine relationships doesn’t mean that everyone will always get what they ask for, but at least all those involved would be honestly expressing what is true for them.

All in all, being a good friend to ourselves and those around us involves exercising our assertiveness muscles and sharing who we truly are, instead of betraying ourselves by trying to win the approval of everyone around us.

What does assertiveness mean to you and is it easy for you to kindly speak up?

 

 

Never Stop Learning

 A fun movie clip for those who sometimes miss the simplicity of earlier ways of communicating!

Currently I am taking another class toward a Master’s Degree in Addiction Counseling, which keeps me learning on a daily basis. The content and volume of work assignments definitely stretches my mind.

Then there is learning beyond the classroom, where all kinds of life lessons are going on as well. We all get handed learning opportunities in all kinds of ways throughout our life.

I always enjoy uncovering the emotional patterns and resultant choices that get in the way of experiencing joy, in order to move beyond them.

After all, how many of us stifle ourselves from making certain choices or pursuing certain desires by believing the discouraging comments from others, or believing our own limited thinking as well.

Unfortunately, we can unwittingly sabotage our self-esteem or enjoyment by comparing ourselves to others, and somehow come up short.

One place that is ripe for comparison is found on social media where others can appear to have it all. Often, it’s a good lesson to not believe everything we read or see online.

Seeing shouldn’t automatically lead to believing!

What has been your favorite life lesson?

Take a Timeout

Taking a timeout is usually reserved for children after misbehaving, who often find themselves facing a wall in the corner of a room in order to regroup and think about what they did.

In that context it is a punishment, however, in this setting, it is a pleasurable retreat from busy activities we are usually engaged in.

In the dictionary it is referred to as a period of time when we stop what we are usually doing, and rest or do something else instead.

That is music to my ears, as I take a brief time out from writing papers in my graduate course, and regroup with you to say hello.

It is always important to take a break and give ourselves some breathing room. Ahhh….

That said, what have you been up to, and where is your favorite place to meditate or take a breather?

Just Show Up

On a Facebook post recently, I showed the above photograph of my husband and I on our wedding anniversary, while celebrating at a child’s birthday party at the same time.

Initially, we were going to spend the evening alone which is always wonderful, but this particular evening, we felt inspired to share in the birthday festivities too!

We generally tend to celebrate our special occasions for an entire week anyway, so we didn’t miss anything but GAINED everything.

Showing up for others has a surprising way of showing up for ourselves as well!

Not only does being present for others deepen our interpersonal connections and spread joyful feelings throughout our relationships, it also spreads a sense of well-being within our own internal emotional systems too!

Certainly, there is nothing wrong with declining invitations, and carving out our own special time for privately celebrating whichever way we choose.

However, in this particular instance and many others that occur, sometimes just showing up can produce the most unexpected results, and leave a positive ripple effect that one could never anticipate.

In what ways have you shown up and experienced positive outcomes?

Avoid Going in Circles

When we look out at the ocean, each of us selects certain things to focus on such as seagulls, surfers, boaters, swimmers, and even our wandering thoughts. Unfortunately, sometimes our roaming thoughts can turn to fear, guilt, or remorse, which doesn’t lead to feeling good or take us where we want to go.

Therefore, we need to direct our thinking toward ideas, images or beliefs that will elevate us, and perhaps cease watching certain negative television programming too! 🙂

Like a fish swimming in a bowl, we can go round and round in circles and have a limited view of what else is available or possible and end up feeling trapped. But, unlike the fish, we can expand our view by choosing more positive thoughts, and set ourselves free no matter what is happening.

We’ve all heard about the law of attraction, and the strong energetic vibrational pull which is often associated with manifesting a certain relationship, career or other desired outcome from optimistic verses pessimistic thinking.

Unfortunately, too often, we become preoccupied with manifesting specific situations which can lead to disappointment, frustration or depression if our outcomes don’t show up on time, or in the way we want. This is not a unique state of mind or surprising emotion to experience when faced with unrealized goals, dreams or desires. However, getting discouraged is often a common reason why our desires don’t seem to be materializing.

Ironically, when we decide to care more about how we feel, verses what we wish to attract, than we are victors no matter if the desired event comes to pass or not. Either way, by reaching for uplifting thoughts, we get to experience more joy, which is why we often want external events or situations in the first place.

Therefore, when we become feeling good focused, we get to feel great regardless of events, and paradoxically, without the negativity or low energy of disappointment getting in the way, our expectations often do occur.

What helps you stay feeling good?

Take A Leap Forward

The World’s Largest Health and Wellness Event

Hay House is a self-help publisher founded by author Louise Hay, and her organization puts this wellness event together once a year.

By clicking the link you can access inspiring audio and video lessons from a multitude of teachers all in one place until May 23rd.

 Everything is free!

 Enjoy!