Many of us may have been taught that our feelings are dangerous, and this is especially true with regards to anger. We learned that it wasn’t nice or safe to feel anger toward others, so we may have a tendency to minimize our feelings or bury them deep inside.
However, the only feelings we really need to fear are those we ignore. This is because negative emotions are very powerful and if left unexpressed can turn into psychological and physical problems.
The stress and energy it takes to hold our feelings inside is much like trying to hold a beach ball under water; each requiring an enormous amount of effort to keep below the surface.
Not only is this a waste of time but inevitably, whatever we hold down will pop up to the surface in the form of an inappropriate angry outburst or long term depression.
Our emotions are wonderful indicators that tell us whether or not what we are doing in life is working. Anger or frustration, is telling us that something needs to be adjusted or changed.
Just like the warning lights on the dashboard of a car that alert us to trouble, so it is with negative emotions. They help us to notice and pinpoint the situations that are creating our stress.
Usually, what causes our stress are the negative interpretations, thoughts and meanings we assign to people, places or events, as well as, weak personal boundaries or poor self-care. Our pain can motivate us into taking actions in these and other problem areas.
Additionally, it can help us develop positive ways for dealing with unpleasant emotions by:
- Engaging in meditation and surrendering control to a power that can help us.
- Participating in regular exercise to lift us up and physically reduce our stress.
- Sharing our feelings with trusted friends and alleviate emotional discomfort.
- Incorporating more fun and laughter into our life which is the best medicine of all.
Welcome your feelings as a friend who is trying to help you, and not hurt you.