Take 21 Actions in 21 Days

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In my book entitled, The Right Relationship Starts with You, I have a daily action step listed at the end of each chapter over a 21-day period. Preceding the action steps in the book is a discussion about a variety of self-growth selected topics.

However, whether or not you have read this Personal Development Guide yet or not, you can still benefit from the list compiled below, of actions to take toward healthier living!


1. Today, do not correct others, or monitor their behaviors. Pay attention to whom or what tempts you to reprimand or become controlling, and then come up with alternative ways to handle these situations.

2. Make a list of as many beliefs as you can think of that you currently adhere to. Then, make another list beside it with alternate beliefs you would like to adopt.

3. Be aware of the quality of your self-talk, and make a point of keeping it as positive as possible. You can start by using the affirmations below until you create those of your own. Just starting with these two will go a long way toward developing this healthy daily practice.

“There is a gift in every experience and person I meet.”

“Everything I need comes to me with ease and love.”

4. In the meditative space that you create, just sit quietly for 5 to 30 minutes and see how it makes you feel.

5. A good way to maintain a feeling of gratitude for all your blessings is to write them down in a journal on a daily basis. This habit will be a small investment of your time when you compare it to the miraculous results that come from it. So, why not start by writing down five or more things you’re grateful for today, and really feel the appreciation in your heart.

6Create a relationship map that will feature images that you cut out of magazines, representing the mental visualizations you create. The map might have pictures of happy couples, material possessions, vacation scenes, couples with children, or anything else that you yearn for. Paste the pictures onto a poster board and put it in a place where you’ll see it each day. The combination of mental and physical visualization will work magic in your life.

7. Write down a list of all the things you’d like to do to make yourself a priority. Don’t worry about seeming selfish—there’s nothing wrong with nurturing you for a change. Next, actually do the things you’ve written down—don’t just think about doing them. Note how you feel once you put yourself at the top of that list.

 8Write down five ways in which you’re settling, or putting up with behavior you’re not comfortable with, and the reasons you think you’re doing so. Then next to each item, write down how you’re going to counteract this behavior for your highest good.

 9Write down some ways in which you haven’t been shining your light. What can you do differently?

10. For one week, pay attention to the people you are surrounding yourself with. Then, write down the qualities you like about them and those you don’t and see how closely you mirror these same qualities.

11. Today, write down the requests and/or favors that others have asked of you in the past year or so that you said “yes” to even though you wanted to say “no.” Think about how you will modify your behavior in the future, and how you think this will make you feel.

12. Where on the attitude scale are you? Very positive? A bit negative? What will you do to change your attitude today? Write down your thoughts.

13. For today, refuse to take anything personally by reminding yourself not to make assumptions, and by making an effort to give others the benefit of the doubt.

14. Begin the healing process by putting the names of those you are struggling to forgive in a forgiveness box, and pray to be relieved of their hold over you.

15. Take the time to connect with your support system by contacting them regularly. Write down your thoughts and feelings in your journal with respect to how you respond to these connections.

16. Practice pausing today when disturbed, and observe your personal triggers. See if you can choose a response that feels good.

17. Write down ten ways in which you’re going to take positive steps to make your next relationship a fulfilling one. Note the characteristics you’re going to bring to the relationship, and those you’d like to see in another. Focus on what you do want, not what you don’t.

18. Begin to attract and create the relationship you desire by writing down your dream relationship in as much detail as possible, as outlined below. Then, see what you can do to enhance those qualities within yourself as well.

  • Write down a summary of what your next relationship looks and feels like.
  • Describe your ideal mate’s characteristics, and include as much detail as possible.
  • Describe the way you would like to conduct yourself in this relationship.
  • How do you think you’ll feel when you have the relationship you’ve always dreamed of?

19. Write down ways in which you can laugh at yourself from a position of love and good-natured fun. How do you feel when you do so?

20. Pay attention to the way you communicate: your tone, words, and delivery. If there’s even a question about how your words are received, simply clarify this confusion with the other person. Then, you can discern whether there are any misunderstandings and clear them up, rather than letting things fester.

21. What are some lessons you’ve learned from past challenges? Reflect on how they ultimately proved to be gifts from the universe.

2 thoughts on “Take 21 Actions in 21 Days

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