Archive | January 2014

Practice Patience

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On the path to achieving our goals and dreams, many of us run into some impatience along the way. This is usually caused by the length of time it takes for our plans to materialize, and our expectations surrounding them. The disparity between where we are now and where we want to go, can create a yearning for our dreamed of future, and dissatisfaction with our present reality.

Even though we know intellectually that the attainment of our goals is not an overnight matter, we can still get emotionally affected by their seeming delay. This state of mind is not surprising or unusual because after all, we are excited about our future plans, and want them to be here now!

Ironically, the more we live joyfully in the now, and are fulfilled within ourselves, the more quickly we often attract any future goal fulfillment. However, if we are looking for some person, place, or event to fix our internal unhappiness, we will probably end up pretty disappointed no matter what we achieve. Success comes from the inside-out, as we draw into our life whatever adventures we desire rather than coming from the outside-in.

When we live too long in a place of longing and neediness, it creates internal pain which often clouds our vision, causing us to miss the opportunities that are right in front of us. These low energy feelings don’t usually attract high energy opportunities.

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Therefore, it is worth our while to cultivate those feelings of gratitude and joy for our present reality, and take whatever actions are necessary toward our inner serenity today. This is where meditation can be very helpful, as it helps to create and restore our peace of mind.

It is through the quiet space of meditation, that we are able to contemplate any feelings of unrest, and calmly assess our situation. Usually, by allowing ourselves this time of introspection, we are inspired with new actions to take while at the same time, letting go of how our plans should evolve.  We get peacefully re-centered and trust that everything will arrive when it is supposed to, while releasing the grip of our own internal time table. This is definitely preferable to being unaware and reacting negatively toward ourselves and others.

Certainly, there is nothing wrong with visualizing a better situation than the one we have now, but feeling dissatisfied until our dreams arrive, takes away our power and can actually prolong their arrival. Having short-term plans filled with daily delights, is just as important as our long-range objectives, and makes for a more pleasurable journey along the way.

Action Step:

Make plans for tomorrow but live for today!

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Let Your Mess Be Your Message

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One of the mistaken beliefs we often fall prey to, is thinking we need to hide our messes, vulnerabilities and insecurities in order to be loved and respected. Ironically, it is by sharing our challenges, and weaknesses that brings us the greatest opportunity for connection with others, and greater love for ourselves.

Therefore, instead of expending our energy trying to cover up those parts of ourselves that we most dislike, and concealing our trials from view; we can expose their presence, and release the negative grip that suppression can bring.

By acknowledging and accepting all aspects of ourselves, and openly revealing our struggles, we can help others by sharing how we improved or overcome our dilemmas. This process helps to transform our messes into successes by turning our experiences into enlightening good use.

We can all probably recall some personal insights we experienced as a result of someone else’s honest disclosures. Their courage, compassion, and honesty helped us to become more willing to share our own hurts and limitations while inspiring others to do the same.

One of the reasons I wrote my book, The Right Relationship Starts with You, was to share some steps and strategies that were birthed out of the pain of mistakes and poor choices that I had made. From those personal experiences, and the help I received along the way, I was able to make better choices which drastically improved my interactions. I got to see firsthand how discouraging experiences can be turned into healing agents for change.

Of course, not all of our troubles have been of our own making, as some have been visited upon us through the choices of others, or additional external forces outside of our control. However, regardless of how our difficulties are delivered, we still need to find a healing response, and solution to them for our own peace of mind.

One way to gain some clarity of what is obstructing our happiness, and creating undesirable outcomes in our lives is the contemplation of questions such as those listed below:

  1. How do I react to stress, and disappointment within and around me?
  2. What do I say and think about myself and others throughout the day?
  3. What situations or people trigger feelings of inadequacy, fear or anger within me?
  4. How often do I blame others for my feelings, choices, attitudes and circumstances?
  5. How often do I blame myself for things outside of my control?
  6. How strong is my ability to forgive?

Action Step:

Lovingly assess these questions, as an aid toward self-awareness, and personal empowerment.

Play Nice

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Sometimes the simplest messages have the most impact.

So, whether we are in the playroom or the boardroom,

remembering to follow these relatively easy

guidelines, gives us the ability to get along better

with others and creates

happiness from the inside-out.

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Play nice today!

Celebrate the Gifts of Life

a stonesAs we know, rarely does a job, mate or anything else of value just show up on our doorstep, without some action on our part. However, recently a friend surprised me with a wonderful book that she delivered to my front door, and I felt moved to deliver it to you too!

It is entitled, The Twelve Gifts of Birth by Charlene Costanzo which provides a message for children of all ages and the child in every adult, as the book jacket states so beautifully.

The manuscript idea came to the author in a dream, and was originally written for her two daughters as a gift of loving messages.

Talk about following your dreams!

Fortunately, her caring words are available to all audiences through her beautiful keepsake book.

a gift for you

Below are the twelve gifts we are all blessed with at birth, and can enjoy for a lifetime.

Strength

May you remember to call upon it whenever you need it.

Beauty

May your deeds reflect its depth.

Courage

May you speak and act with confidence and use courage to follow your own path.

Compassion

May you be gentle with yourself and others. May you forgive those who hurt you and yourself when you make mistakes.

Hope

Through each passage and season, may you trust the goodness of life.

Joy

May it keep your heart open and filled with light.

Talent

May you discover your own special abilities and contribute them toward a better world.

Imagination

May it nourish your visions and dreams.

Reverence

May you appreciate the wonder that you are and the miracle of all creation.

Wisdom

Guiding your way, wisdom will lead you through knowledge to understanding. May you hear its soft voice.

Love

 It will grow each time you give it away.

Faith

May you believe.

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Love Yourself More

a new year

Happy New Year Everybody!

The beginning of the year is a time when many of us make New Year’s resolutions which can be a very empowering activity. Certainly, there is nothing wrong with envisioning what we would like to create for ourselves in the coming year, and taking positive actions toward our goals.

However, one of the best resolutions we can make, above all others, is to love ourselves more! If we accomplished this beautiful state of existence, our list of adjustments may get a whole lot shorter!

With that in mind, I have shared below something written by author Cheryl Richardson, which expresses this sentiment very well.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

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Think about it.

If you loved yourself more you’d probably…

Be kinder to yourself and others.

Spend your time & energy in ways that make you feel good.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Say yes to the little voice inside that begs you to listen.

Give from your heart instead of from guilt & obligation.

Attract great experiences and opportunities into your life.

Take good care of your finances and your health.

Surround yourself with people who respect and adore you.

Now, isn’t it so much easier to focus the New Year on the one thing that will make the biggest difference in your life? 

Action Step:

Think about one thing you would do differently today if you loved yourself more.