One of the mistaken beliefs we often fall prey to, is thinking we need to hide our messes, vulnerabilities and insecurities in order to be loved and respected. Ironically, it is by sharing our challenges, and weaknesses that brings us the greatest opportunity for connection with others, and greater love for ourselves.
Therefore, instead of expending our energy trying to cover up those parts of ourselves that we most dislike, and concealing our trials from view; we can expose their presence, and release the negative grip that suppression can bring.
By acknowledging and accepting all aspects of ourselves, and openly revealing our struggles, we can help others by sharing how we improved or overcome our dilemmas. This process helps to transform our messes into successes by turning our experiences into enlightening good use.
We can all probably recall some personal insights we experienced as a result of someone else’s honest disclosures. Their courage, compassion, and honesty helped us to become more willing to share our own hurts and limitations while inspiring others to do the same.
One of the reasons I wrote my book, The Right Relationship Starts with You, was to share some steps and strategies that were birthed out of the pain of mistakes and poor choices that I had made. From those personal experiences, and the help I received along the way, I was able to make better choices which drastically improved my interactions. I got to see firsthand how discouraging experiences can be turned into healing agents for change.
Of course, not all of our troubles have been of our own making, as some have been visited upon us through the choices of others, or additional external forces outside of our control. However, regardless of how our difficulties are delivered, we still need to find a healing response, and solution to them for our own peace of mind.
One way to gain some clarity of what is obstructing our happiness, and creating undesirable outcomes in our lives is the contemplation of questions such as those listed below:
- How do I react to stress, and disappointment within and around me?
- What do I say and think about myself and others throughout the day?
- What situations or people trigger feelings of inadequacy, fear or anger within me?
- How often do I blame others for my feelings, choices, attitudes and circumstances?
- How often do I blame myself for things outside of my control?
- How strong is my ability to forgive?
Lovingly assess these questions, as an aid toward self-awareness, and personal empowerment.