Archive | September 2016

Resist Jumping to Conclusions

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How we interpret a situation, and the conclusions we draw are not always accurate. This is humorously depicted in some of the funniest sitcoms where continuous misunderstandings are creating constant confusion between the characters.

For instance, in watching the show Modern Family the other night, one of the characters, Mitchell, was holding hands with a supposedly comatose grandmother, when suddenly she grabs his hair, and he yells out “Let go!”

The rest of the family didn’t see the hair grabbing incident, but heard Mitchell yelling for the grandmother to let go, and concluded he meant letting go of her life, and not his hair.

Until he was able to explain what happened, the family was very upset with him based on their interpretation of the situation. Though funny on a TV show, it can be less humorous in our own lives when confusions occur, and our behavior or words are misconstrued.

I remember years ago giving a talk about the dynamics of my first marriage to a group exploring relationship issues. I was telling them that my relationship was like the one demonstrated in the old television show Moonlighting, with Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd.

The characters on the show used to bicker with each other a lot, and that’s how my partner and I communicated with each other much of the time.

Some years later, I ran into a woman who had attended that group, and in our conversation it became clear that she thought I’d been comparing my physical appearance to Cybill Shepherd, rather than comparing my relationship to the one between the program’s characters.

She ultimately admitted that her interpretation of my talk was that I had been bragging about my looks, and how negatively that impacted her feelings about me.

Good reminder to not jump to conclusions, and let go of our certainty that we understand a situation fully when perhaps we don’t have all the facts.

Are you able to resist jumping to conclusions, and consider other possible explanations for what occurs?

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Embrace the Truth

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In recent weeks, I’ve come across several different websites that were talking about author Glennon Doyle Melton, who wrote the newest Oprah Book Club selection, Love Warrior.

In learning more about her, I found her to be refreshingly honest and wise, as demonstrated in her interview on Super Soul Sunday. In the snippet from the show, she discusses the “I’m fine” response.

We may indeed be fine today, but we might also be scared or hurt or confused on other days. I’m sure many of us can relate to feeling one way on the inside, and ‘acting’ quite differently on the outside by saying all the right things.

There does seem to be a common indoctrination to truth telling, that rewards all our positive feelings and gives less approval to the painful ones.

However, embracing the truth about our internal world, and sharing it with those we trust, is a healthy step to growth and transformation.

Are you able to accept your true feelings, or do you judge yourself for being less than fine?

 

 

Give Yourself Permission

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Cheryl Richardson and Christiane Northrup are authors I really connect with on all matters relating to self-care. That being said, below are some wonderful permission slips offered on Dr. Northrup’s blog for taking better care of ourselves.

Enjoy!

  1. Rest when you need to. If you are tired, give yourself permission to sleep. The dishes, the laundry, and the work you didn’t finish today will still be waiting for you tomorrow.
  1. Feel joy every day. Paint, sing, dance, play music, and have sex if you so desire.
  1. Let go of toxic relationships. Toxic people drain you. Work on creating relationships with people who support you as you are.
  1. Love your body. Stop comparing yourself to the air brushed models in the media. Dress the way you want. Do your hair the way you like it.  If this is difficult, do mirror work and tell your body how much you love it.
  1. Trust your intuition. Step out of your comfort zone and go for whatever feels right – maybe it is a new career path, a new health or fitness program, or simply speaking up when you feel the need.
  1. Simplify your life. Focus on what truly matters to you. Don’t let yourself get derailed by drama.
  1. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a process. Find time every day to practice forgiveness.
  1. Say “yes.” Saying “yes” to yourself is empowering. Say “yes” to whatever you want in your life, and say “no” to whatever you don’t want.
  1. Feel the guilt. Realize that the guilt you are feeling is probably just cultural programming. Thank it for sharing and release it.
  1. Be yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. You don’t have to fit any cultural mold.

Which one speaks loudest to you today?