In reading an inspirational book the other day, I came across the following positive passage, and thought I would share it with you below. This struck me as a wonderful mantra to read on a daily basis to lift us up, and combat the sneaky internal critic that visits us on a regular basis.
I will no longer deal in self-contempt. I will turn down negative inner dialogue that constantly makes negative comparisons between myself and others. Shame is no longer a part of my identity. Thoughts of my being defective or not quite good enough are being released from my consciousness at this moment. I am a lovable and capable person, and I will not reject myself.
― Rokelle Lerner
It can be tempting to doubt our lovability or value when someone says an unkind remark, or acts in a negative way toward us. Certain words or behaviors can really sting, and hurt our feelings, along with the practice of comparing ourselves to others. We certainly don’t want to add to the situation by being unkind toward ourselves too!
Therefore, it’s always a good reminder to be our own best friend, and not abandon or reject ourselves with self-criticism, no matter what is going on within or around us!
What helps you to combat the internal critic?
In honor of author Louise Hay’s recent 90th birthday, I thought I would share some of her teachings below, which originated in her book entitled You Can Heal Your Life.
She has been an advocate, and teacher for helping people to love themselves during much of her adult life. She didn’t come from a privileged background or an adoring home, but managed to create a loving life, in spite of her situation.
Many of us come from similarly unhelpful upbringings, and know the internal challenges or insecurities that can result from that experience. However, instead of becoming a victim, she and others have become victors, who are changing their lives, and inspiring those around them as well.
Her example, and nurturing methods helped inspire the writing of my own book too.
In reviewing all the self-care reminders listed below, which has been your greatest challenge or greatest success?
Do Mirror Work.
Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, “I love you, I really love you!”
Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!
Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.
Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.
Stop All Criticism.
Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.
Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.
Don’t Scare Yourself.
Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.
Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.
Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.
Be Kind to Your Mind.
Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.
Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.
Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.
Be Loving to Your Negatives.
Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.
Take Care of Your Body.
Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.
As we know, several people can say the same thing or have the same basic message, yet we respond to each person differently. This seems to result from the many different and unique ways we all express ourselves, which appeals to certain groups and not another.
For instance, many of us have favorite authors we love, and will buy whatever they put out in the world or whatever they recommend. We like what they represent and connect with their ideas. Conversely, another writer can say the same message but we aren’t interested or inspired by their delivery.
As for myself, I connect with Dr. Christiane Northrup, as I find her information to be credible and empowering along with her recommendations, especially after my health scare last year.
Recently, she recommended a book by Anthony William entitled, Medical Medium Life-Changing Foods: Save Yourself and the Ones You Love with the Hidden Healing Powers of Fruits & Vegetables.
However, I do like to branch out and explore other writers for a change of pace, and have come across many who use very colorful language in delivering their message. This style appears to be very popular, judging by the number of followers they are attracting, along with their frequent daily social media postings.
It’s great that there are so many approaches available that can reach a larger population, who might not otherwise be open to the positive information being taught. It also makes me appreciate the mainstays I have been following for years, and see why I’ve been drawn to them as well.
In spite of what others are doing, it’s important to stay true to who we are, and use our own voice for our authentic expression, rather than trying to fit into someone else’s mold.
If we all expressed ourselves the same way, it would be very limiting, and would exclude all those who respond to our particular communication approach.
How do you stay true to you?