Be a Victor Not a Victim


In honor of author Louise Hay’s recent 90th birthday, I thought I would share some of her teachings below, which originated in her book entitled You Can Heal Your Life.

She has been an advocate, and teacher for helping people to love themselves during much of her adult life. She didn’t come from a privileged background or an adoring home, but managed to create a loving life, in spite of her situation.

Many of us come from similarly unhelpful upbringings, and know the internal challenges or insecurities that can result from that experience. However, instead of becoming a victim, she and others have become victors, who are changing their lives, and inspiring those around them as well.

Her example, and nurturing methods helped inspire the writing of my own book too.

In reviewing all the self-care reminders listed below, which has been your greatest challenge or greatest success?

Do Mirror Work.

Look into your eyes often. Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. Forgive yourself while looking into the mirror. Talk to your parents while looking into the mirror. Forgive them, too. At least once a day, say, “I love you, I really love you!”

Have Fun.

Remember the things that gave you joy as a child. Incorporate them into your life now. Find a way to have fun with everything you do. Let yourself express the joy of living. Smile. Laugh. Rejoice, and the Universe rejoices with you!

Love Yourself . . . Do It Now.

Don’t wait until you get well, or lose the weight, or get the new job, or find the new relationship. Begin now—and do the best you can.

Stop All Criticism.

Criticism never changes a thing. Refuse to criticize yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. Everybody changes. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. When you approve of yourself, your changes are positive.

Forgive Yourself.

Let the past go. You did the best you could at the time with the understanding, awareness, and knowledge that you had. Now you are growing and changing, and you will live life differently.

Don’t Scare Yourself.

Stop terrorizing yourself with your thoughts. It’s a dreadful way to live. Find a mental image that gives you pleasure, and immediately switch your scary thought to a pleasure thought.

Be Gentle and Kind and Patient.

Be gentle with yourself. Be kind to yourself. Be patient with yourself as you learn the new ways of thinking. Treat yourself as you would someone you really loved.

Be Kind to Your Mind.

Self-hatred is only hating your own thoughts. Don’t hate yourself for having the thoughts. Gently change your thoughts.

Praise Yourself.

Criticism breaks down the inner spirit. Praise builds it up. Praise yourself as much as you can. Tell yourself how well you are doing with every little thing.

Support Yourself.

Find ways to support yourself. Reach out to friends and allow them to help you. It is being strong to ask for help when you need it.

Be Loving to Your Negatives.

Acknowledge that you created them to fulfill a need. Now you are finding new, positive ways to fulfill those needs. So lovingly release the old negative patterns.

Take Care of Your Body.

Learn about nutrition. What kind of fuel does your body need in order to have optimum energy and vitality? Learn about exercise. What kind of exercise do you enjoy? Cherish and revere the temple you live in.



6 thoughts on “Be a Victor Not a Victim

  1. Ah, such a beautiful, supportive post. And two great books mentioned, too. ❤
    Thank you, dear Cathie!

    My greatest success is that I noticed, while reading through the above listed self-care reminders, that I actually have integrated all of those into my life. They became healthy habits and I am enjoying this.

    All but one – and gaining awareness for this, now, is a success, too.

    Therefore, it would seem that the most challenging part of the mentioned options is for me to ask for help. I am good in supporting myself by myself and in asking for help in prayer, but when asking other people for help I often feel that I do not deserve it and that I am not worth the effort of others. In a way, it makes me sad to realize this as the part of me who loves me has become very strong. To realize this is a good thing and it also is great to know that I am already working on this. The recent challenges in my life are calling for exactly that: asking for help and sharing. And they are calling for identifying the source of the problem, which I believe I have, as well as changing the underlying thought-pattern.

    By the way:
    I tagged you for a little blogging game about Autumn called "Autunno in… TAG!". I thought, perhaps you ejoy to participate as living in tune with the turning of the seasons can be seen as part of living a mindfull life. In case you are interested, you can find all the details, here: .

    Much love and Happy Autumn,

    • Thank you Steffi for acknowledging both books, and for your wonderful comments! 🙂 Great to hear you have integrated, and are enjoying the benefits of all the self-care reminders listed in the post. It is definitely challenging asking for help, but as you said, the awareness of it is a success! It’s amazing how we are presented with certain situations that bring up our hurts and unhelpful beliefs for healing. The process is not always fun but seems necessary in order to get to the patterns that inhibit our joy! That’s for thinking of me on the blogging game, and all your kind words. I’ll have to look into the details of the game soon. Love, Cathie

    • Really appreciate your great comments Patsy! Agreed, that the internal criticism can seem to be never ending, yet these positive self-love reminders can help break the cycle when it starts. 🙂

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