Look at Your Internal Reactions

Often negative words or behaviors are demonstrated in reaction to disturbing events, people or situations. Though we can certainly learn to outwardly respond more positively to our circumstances, it doesn’t necessarily alleviate the stresses within.

Therefore, instead of focusing on the external events, and giving away our power to the actions of others, it is more beneficial to put our focus on how we are internalizing what is occurring.

  • For instance, are we personalizing the behaviors of others, and feeling hurt as a result?
  • Are we making ourselves wrong if someone disagrees with us?

Personalizing and making ourselves wrong are types of internal reactions which definitely influences how we feel on any given day. Not surprising, many of us react pretty similarly to the same stimuli on a regular basis, which provides valuable insight into how we process life.

It can feel as though someone or something is inserting negativity or stress within us or making us feel a certain way. However, usually what is happening is we are being triggered by something in the environment, which activates long standing thinking or emotional patterns.

For example, we may struggle with people pleasing, or have trouble setting personal boundaries which creates unpleasant feelings within us.

These unpleasant feelings can alert us to take better care of ourselves and see if an old fear, worry, or insecurity has been activated as well, thereby helping us reclaim our power, instead of believing it is being taken from us.

What internal reactions have improved for you and what made the difference?



4 thoughts on “Look at Your Internal Reactions

  1. Thank you, dear Cathie, for thie beautiful, empowering post!

    Making ourselves wrong in order to make it more convenient for others is something that sounds very familiar to me… 😉

    Recently I experienced one of those old patterns being triggerd while talking to a family member. After the talk I felt small because the family member felt small and they tried to find relieve by making me look small. I automatically stepped into that role, because that is how it has always been and on some unconsious level I tried to make them feel better by making myself smaller than they felt they were.
    I thought about that a lot, afterwards, and also talked about this with my husband. This helped me to see the situation clearer.
    The next time when I talked to that family member I did so in the clear awareness that neither of us is small. I decided, instead of shuttung up, to show up as who I am. I also refrained from trying to change them or their views and instead allowed them their own choice about how they felt and how they wanted to deal with life.
    Miraculously, the whole encounter transformed and at the end of the talk no one felt small. Instead we felt happy.

    I believe, the change responsible for this improvement was that I made a clear internal statement – from myself, to myself, for myself – which then had a transforming effect on my external experience.

    Much Love,

    • Dear Steffi, Loved your insightful comments! Awareness is definitely a beautiful gift which exposes what isn’t working for us, and gives us an opportunity to do things differently which you explained so well in your family experience. How terrific you owned your power and didn’t take on or own another’s experience of life. I love the expression, “It’s not my stuff” as a reminder to not get ‘hooked’ into old patterns of feeling guilty if others aren’t happy or feeling we did something wrong for them to be feeling a certain way. Love what you said about having a clear internal statement which transformed your external experience as well. Awesome! Blessings, Cathie

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