Archive | August 2017

Consider Your Legacy

As I learned about Louise Hays passing yesterday, I couldn’t help but think of the special legacy she has left.

For those of you familiar with her work, you know she spoke extensively about positive affirmations, mirror work and loving one’s self.

Her books and teaching have helped millions of people, along with the authors she gathered together in her Hay House publishing company.

Her life will be remembered as one who spread positivity and helpful teachings that encouraged people to treat themselves with love and respect.

Though I never met Louise, I’ve been inspired by the principles she taught and her ability to turn a rough childhood into such an inspiring adult life.

Even though she is no longer with us, her inspirational work will live on and hopefully prompt us all to create a lasting legacy of contribution as well.

Who inspires you and how would you like to be remembered?

 

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Try Something New

As we know, a routine is “a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed program.”

When is the last time you stepped outside of your daily routine and tried something new?

I have been doing a lot of that lately.

For instance, for the fall semester, I will be working at a local university as a teacher’s assistant for an undergraduate psychology class.

I will remain writing my blog and other coaching activities, but thought this would be a great opportunity to extend myself and be a part of helping a class on a subject that I enjoy.

With regards to college, usually I have been a student, so it will be enlightening to see the other side of the educational format.

Similarly, this is not my usual training venue that I’ve utilized in coaching, so it will be instructional for me from that perspective as well.

In order to hopefully stimulate some routine busting, I thought I would rerun a poem I shared some time ago. I would love to hear about new things you are doing or want to be doing in the near future.

Please share your thoughts below and let’s inspire and support each other.

My Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn’t fail,
the same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
but stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.  

I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much,
I said I didn’t care for things like commission checks and such.
I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
but deep inside I longed for something special of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win,
I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you’re in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,
remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true,
reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you!

– Author Unknown

Be Assertive

Recently, I’ve had several conversations regarding the topic of assertiveness, and there does seem to be a lot of varied opinions or beliefs on the matter.

Often, many of us associate assertiveness with aggressiveness, but they are not the same thing.

Assertiveness is simply speaking up for ourselves without hostility or stomping over other people’s rights. It is not about trying to change people or being cruel or unkind, whereas, aggressiveness is controlling, hostile and repugnant.

Often those who struggle with expressing themselves were raised to be “good” girls and boys who were taught to avoid making relational waves or asking for what they needed.

Additionally, many were directly or indirectly instructed to believe that being a nice person meant doing whatever anyone asks of them, without taking themselves into account.

However, this kind of nice or self-sacrificing pattern of living keeps us from setting boundaries and leads to destructive people-pleasing behaviors such as saying ‘Yes’ when we mean ‘No.’

Ultimately, these types of dishonest responses will negatively impact our interpersonal relationships.

For instance, if we do everything for everyone all the time, they consciously or unconsciously begin to take advantage of us, which we taught them by continuing to carry their weight and ours too!

Therefore, people-pleasing is ultimately not very pleasing because submerging our genuineness often leads to resentment toward others!

These resentments can lead to passive-aggressive behavior which has been referred to as “sugar coated hostility” in the form of subtle or (not so subtle) snide remarks, silent treatment or withholding affection.

Having genuine relationships doesn’t mean that everyone will always get what they ask for, but at least all those involved would be honestly expressing what is true for them.

All in all, being a good friend to ourselves and those around us involves exercising our assertiveness muscles and sharing who we truly are, instead of betraying ourselves by trying to win the approval of everyone around us.

What does assertiveness mean to you and is it easy for you to kindly speak up?