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Treat Yourself

Happy Valentine’s Day!!

How will you treat yourself today?

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Grant Yourself Permission

Many books are written about the importance of setting personal boundaries with others and the emotional penalties for not saying ‘no’ when we need to.

However, it is equally important to say ‘yes’ when we need to as well!

We only need our own permission to start treating ourselves better now!

What wonderful way can you say YES to yourself today?

The Right Relationship Starts with You

Acquire Contentment

There is no end of craving. Hence contentment alone is the best way to happiness. Therefore, acquire contentment. – Swami Sivananda

Contentment is often defined as a state of happiness and satisfaction.

Usually, we think that happiness and satisfaction can only occur once we get the dream house, perfect mate, desired career or other circumstance we want.

Certainly, there is nothing wrong with wanting and receiving any of those desires, however, it only becomes troublesome if we wait until their arrival in order to feel good.

What usually happens when our desired dreams haven’t materialized yet, is that dissatisfaction sets in and disrupts our peace of mind.

Ironically, sometimes our mere attitude of discouragement and upset can keep away or prolong receiving our coveted desires.

For instance, the negative energy that radiates from our unhappy feelings isn’t likely to attract a potential mate or prospective career opportunity. Unfortunately, anger tends to create an unpleasant atmosphere around us, and keeps positive opportunities away, which can cause even more internal upset or confusion.

Therefore, on the way to achieving our goals, it is important to feel contended ahead of their arrival and be in a positive state of mind as if they were here today.

It is vital that we create a contended life now, and enjoy the journey or process that is involved in achieving our objectives, rather than just enjoying the outcome.

I know when writing my book, I created a mock book cover and kept it on my desk, which was motivating and brought satisfaction ahead of its completion.

At the end of the day, life is too short to wait to be happy. We can usually find something or someone to be grateful for now, and joyfully walk toward other avenues of fulfillment as well.

What helps you feel contented?

The Right Relationship Starts with You

Roll with It

At some point in our life, we all experience times when something doesn’t go our way, even when we have taken all the right actions.

For instance, we might have returned to school to study a particular trade, but didn’t land our dream job right out of school. Or we might have been turned down for a promotion we worked hard for, or didn’t get the dream house we desired after saving for many years.

It is normal to have certain expectations about the outcomes we desire. However, if we don’t get the results we want, then we have to let go in the present moment, and trust that the outcome will be better for us down the road.

Letting go, and accepting a particular outcome doesn’t mean giving up or abandoning our dreams altogether, it just means we might have to find another way, or move in a different direction for the time being.

Experiencing any disappointment can be a challenge while we are going through it, and it is usually only in hindsight, that we can see the blessings behind the postponements.

Thankfully, we usually end up finding a better job, starting our own company, or finding a better house than the one we originally planned on.

However, in the meantime, a good way to move through the waiting process is to cultivate a feeling of gratitude for the things we already have, and feel the appreciation that ensues.

 

What 5 things are on your gratitude list today?

 

The Right Relationship Starts with You

 

Choose Your Word of the Year

Happy 2018!

Hope your new year has started off well.

Like many of us, at the beginning of each year I like the practice of choosing a single word or mantra, as a guiding force and direction for the 12 months ahead, instead of making resolutions.

Usually, selecting a word or phrase is an intuitive nudge from within.

For me, like last year, I am keeping my three word mantra, Keep Your Power.

So, for example, whenever I find myself worrying, I can internally utter the words, “Keep Your Power,” as a great reminder to not allow my peace to be disturbed by internal fear thoughts, and to upgrade my thoughts to something more positive.

Additionally, my mantra reinforcement can help to keep from reacting to external comments or circumstances, by remembering to not take the words or actions of others personally, thereby reducing feelings of hurt or anger.

It may sound like an easy task to keep our power, but almost all of us can attest to unintentionally giving away our peace of mind to someone else who pushes our buttons, and affects the way we think, feel, or behave.

That said, since we only have control over how we respond to external stimulus, or even to our own thoughts, and feelings, it’s important to have awareness practices in place to assist us in making healthier choices, and take more beneficial actions.

Some of those actions might be a dedicated meditation time, or special readings, that lift our awareness and feelings to a higher place.

Sometimes responding means to speak up for yourself, and resist the habit of staying silent for people pleasing purposes.

Even saying Don’t be mean in 2018 is a helpful reminder to put kindness first, when frustrations arise, and we’re tempted to react otherwise.

What positive words or mantras speak to you this year?

The Right Relationship Starts with You

Start a Happiness Practice

As we approach a New Year, it can be fun to create ways to inspire a positive beginning and not necessarily by making resolutions.

Instead, one idea I heard about and love, is jotting down notes on little pieces of colorful paper about things that make us happy, and reading them at the end of the year!

We can include the recognition of an accomplished goal, fun memories, surprise gifts and other things we are grateful for while they are happening.

Each year is a clean slate so starting January 2018 with an empty jar and adding a note each day or week with a good thing that happened would forge a new focus on the great stuff that occurs.

We can also get creative with the type of jar or container we use too, and how we decide to decorate it, along with the paper we’d enjoy using.

Then, how fun to gather on New Year’s Eve and empty the jar and read about the wonderful year we just had, especially if we did this as a group activity with family and friends!

This happiness practice could certainly help to offset the upsets that garner our attention.

So, as we ring in the New Year, our first writing could be about the wonderful night of celebration we had with the changing of the year!

What positive New Year’s  ideas inspire you?

See Yourself However You Choose

“We see the world, not as it is, but as we areor, as we are conditioned to see it.”

Dr. Stephen Covey

One of the great things about our having an incredible mind is that we can use it however we choose.

We can use it to think loving thoughts about ourselves and others, or use it for the condemnation of both.

Either way is our choice.

Many of us never ask ourselves how we came to feel about ourselves the way we do. Usually, we are conditioned to see the world and ourselves in a certain way based on the environmental influences of our parents and peers.

Unfortunately, many of us have drawn faulty conclusions or adopted disempowering beliefs that were based on our interpretations of others behaviors toward us.

For example, if a caregiver was harsh in their treatment or words toward us, we may have interpreted that behavior as having to do with our being unlovable, instead of understanding that they have an issue with appropriately expressing themselves.

However, as we grow into adulthood, we become increasingly accountable for developing our own belief systems and changing the lens we have been looking through.

After all, what we choose to believe about ourselves has immense consequences in how we behave in the external world and how we feel in our internal world.

Fortunately, since our beliefs are learned, they can be unlearned and reconditioned in our favor. This is often easier said than done because our beliefs have become so ingrained and are such a part of us due to repetition in our thoughts.

However, writing down our own personal history or story can help us find and uproot any limiting beliefs that may be hanging out in our subconscious mind.

This exercise can be a fun adventure like a scavenger hunt.

Gaining awareness of what is not serving us can be an incredible gift toward challenging distorted beliefs or upgrading any thoughts that might be making us feel bad.

Once we locate a belief that is not serving our highest good, we can repeat an empowering refrain such as ‘I am willing to release this negative belief, and replace it with something more beneficial to my highest self.’

Since repetition got us into the beliefs we currently have, repetition can get us out.

What phrase will you repeat?