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Consider Your Legacy

As I learned about Louise Hays passing yesterday, I couldn’t help but think of the special legacy she has left.

For those of you familiar with her work, you know she spoke extensively about positive affirmations, mirror work and loving one’s self.

Her books and teaching have helped millions of people, along with the authors she gathered together in her Hay House publishing company.

Her life will be remembered as one who spread positivity and helpful teachings that encouraged people to treat themselves with love and respect.

Though I never met Louise, I’ve been inspired by the principles she taught and her ability to turn a rough childhood into such an inspiring adult life.

Even though she is no longer with us, her inspirational work will live on and hopefully prompt us all to create a lasting legacy of contribution as well.

Who inspires you and how would you like to be remembered?

 

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Be Assertive

Recently, I’ve had several conversations regarding the topic of assertiveness, and there does seem to be a lot of varied opinions or beliefs on the matter.

Often, many of us associate assertiveness with aggressiveness, but they are not the same thing.

Assertiveness is simply speaking up for ourselves without hostility or stomping over other people’s rights. It is not about trying to change people or being cruel or unkind, whereas, aggressiveness is controlling, hostile and repugnant.

Often those who struggle with expressing themselves were raised to be “good” girls and boys who were taught to avoid making relational waves or asking for what they needed.

Additionally, many were directly or indirectly instructed to believe that being a nice person meant doing whatever anyone asks of them, without taking themselves into account.

However, this kind of nice or self-sacrificing pattern of living keeps us from setting boundaries and leads to destructive people-pleasing behaviors such as saying ‘Yes’ when we mean ‘No.’

Ultimately, these types of dishonest responses will negatively impact our interpersonal relationships.

For instance, if we do everything for everyone all the time, they consciously or unconsciously begin to take advantage of us, which we taught them by continuing to carry their weight and ours too!

Therefore, people-pleasing is ultimately not very pleasing because submerging our genuineness often leads to resentment toward others!

These resentments can lead to passive-aggressive behavior which has been referred to as “sugar coated hostility” in the form of subtle or (not so subtle) snide remarks, silent treatment or withholding affection.

Having genuine relationships doesn’t mean that everyone will always get what they ask for, but at least all those involved would be honestly expressing what is true for them.

All in all, being a good friend to ourselves and those around us involves exercising our assertiveness muscles and sharing who we truly are, instead of betraying ourselves by trying to win the approval of everyone around us.

What does assertiveness mean to you and is it easy for you to kindly speak up?

 

 

Take a Timeout

Taking a timeout is usually reserved for children after misbehaving, who often find themselves facing a wall in the corner of a room in order to regroup and think about what they did.

In that context it is a punishment, however, in this setting, it is a pleasurable retreat from busy activities we are usually engaged in.

In the dictionary it is referred to as a period of time when we stop what we are usually doing, and rest or do something else instead.

That is music to my ears, as I take a brief time out from writing papers in my graduate course, and regroup with you to say hello.

It is always important to take a break and give ourselves some breathing room. Ahhh….

That said, what have you been up to, and where is your favorite place to meditate or take a breather?

Avoid Going in Circles

When we look out at the ocean, each of us selects certain things to focus on such as seagulls, surfers, boaters, swimmers, and even our wandering thoughts. Unfortunately, sometimes our roaming thoughts can turn to fear, guilt, or remorse, which doesn’t lead to feeling good or take us where we want to go.

Therefore, we need to direct our thinking toward ideas, images or beliefs that will elevate us, and perhaps cease watching certain negative television programming too! 🙂

Like a fish swimming in a bowl, we can go round and round in circles and have a limited view of what else is available or possible and end up feeling trapped. But, unlike the fish, we can expand our view by choosing more positive thoughts, and set ourselves free no matter what is happening.

We’ve all heard about the law of attraction, and the strong energetic vibrational pull which is often associated with manifesting a certain relationship, career or other desired outcome from optimistic verses pessimistic thinking.

Unfortunately, too often, we become preoccupied with manifesting specific situations which can lead to disappointment, frustration or depression if our outcomes don’t show up on time, or in the way we want. This is not a unique state of mind or surprising emotion to experience when faced with unrealized goals, dreams or desires. However, getting discouraged is often a common reason why our desires don’t seem to be materializing.

Ironically, when we decide to care more about how we feel, verses what we wish to attract, than we are victors no matter if the desired event comes to pass or not. Either way, by reaching for uplifting thoughts, we get to experience more joy, which is why we often want external events or situations in the first place.

Therefore, when we become feeling good focused, we get to feel great regardless of events, and paradoxically, without the negativity or low energy of disappointment getting in the way, our expectations often do occur.

What helps you stay feeling good?

Take A Leap Forward

The World’s Largest Health and Wellness Event

Hay House is a self-help publisher founded by author Louise Hay, and her organization puts this wellness event together once a year.

By clicking the link you can access inspiring audio and video lessons from a multitude of teachers all in one place until May 23rd.

 Everything is free!

 Enjoy!

 

Let it R.A.I.N

Where I live on the West Coast it doesn’t rain very much. Fortunately, it is sunny most every day, which is a pleasure to experience.

However, it is inevitable that sooner or later the rain does fall both literally in nature, and figuratively by our life experiences as well.

Though on the surface life’s storms are inconvenient and unwelcome in our daily lives, they are necessary to our personal growth and help us emotionally blossom as a result.

Below is a brief mindfulness process that helps bring awareness to our present state of mind when we are feeling drenched with concerns, or experiencing unpleasant feelings to help us move beyond them:

RRecognize how you are feeling in a non-judgmental way.

AAccept and allow that it’s ok to feel the way you do in the present moment.

I= Investigate what the feeling is trying to tell you, or what self-care behaviors are being neglected such as sleep.

NNon-Identification by separating your emotional state from your character by not judging or labeling yourself as an angry person when you feel anger.

Trying to find the lesson in anything we experience can help us to grow from them and not just suffer through them.

What helps you stay centered through life’s storms?

Develop a Great Attitude

a-great-attitude

We get to decide on a daily basis whether to view the events of our life as negative or positive. No doubt, it can be challenging to focus on the good that is happening, when undesirable things may be happening too.

Changing our attitude isn’t about being phony and artificially upbeat; it’s about feeling different on the inside which is all we have control over anyway. We definitely can’t always control outside circumstances, or make people do what we want.

However, we can make choices that lead to a more positive mind-set and outcome.

For instance, a friend of mine went through a location change in her place of employment that put her home much of each day. She went from working at the office to working from her primary residence.

The first week in this new arrangement left her feeling lost and depressed as she tried to adjust to her new situation. She noticed her attitude start to deteriorate.

The second week she decided to get up early and go to the gym each morning, and her attitude drastically changed.

She started to feel optimistic about being at home and the freedom and opportunities it afforded her, and most important, she started to feel good about herself as a result.

Her act of self-care turned a seemingly negative situation into a positive one, and the good feelings it engendered started to extend to others she came in contact with.

What helps you stay positive?