Some of us have a tendency to express our opinions and feelings with great emotion while others don’t acknowledge or identify what they are experiencing at all. The chart above, reminds us to own and feel our feelings by confronting and taking responsibility for them.
This process provides a more detached view of our emotions, thereby releasing us from the strong emotional attachment we might otherwise experience. It can be very healing and freeing to express what we think and feel without apology, or drama.
Having a rich emotional life is a wonderful thing and a part of being human. However, sometimes the manner in which we deliver our emotions can become a problem for us; even though the content of what we are sharing is valid and valuable. This is usually caused by personalizing the actions and behavior of others and feeling that they made us angry as a result.
No matter who does what, we are responsible for our own feelings and how we communicate them to others. People can certainly trigger unpleasant emotions within us, but we still have to deal with whatever feelings crop up inside of us.
Seen in this light, it puts the power back in our own mind and heart. Once we start blaming others for how we feel, it creates a lot of upset for us and gives them all the power for our emotional state.
Expressing ourselves can be tricky, especially if we come from a background where we were teased for sharing our thoughts; so we may decide unconsciously or consciously to withhold our feelings to prevent ourselves from further hurt.
However, withholding our opinions, feelings and beliefs causes us to hurt more because we are shutting out the spirit of who we are. This type of editing will naturally create a lot of internal anger and resentment. Additionally, it doesn’t allow for the development of close relationships because it puts up an emotional wall that prevents connection at a deeper level.
By courageously confronting our emotions, we are taking an active role in unlocking ourselves from the suffering that occurs when we give away our happiness to another. When we own our emotions, then we can confidently express our comments and feelings without the expectation that others have to change.
We may decide to release certain people or situations from our life as a result of differing life views, personalities or behaviors they possess, but we aren’t doing it in order to get a reaction or to control anyone. On the contrary, we are doing it out of freedom of choice, and the desire to find more fulfilling relationships.
Being continuously triggered or consistently unfulfilled can certainly be a sign that it is time to move on; without making others wrong for not being a compatible choice.
Calmly sharing and owning our feelings is such a wonderful freedom. It gives us more self-esteem, self-respect and confidence, because we are no longer feeling embarrassed by self-destructive reactions. This leaves us feeling more lovable and in control of our emotions.
It isn’t necessarily comfortable to start being more authentic and open after years of being withholding or codependent; as it can be scary and not natural. However, with practice it can be the most healing experience of our life!
Review the chart above, and use it to reduce any negative emotions you may be feeling at this moment, and to claim more independence.