Tag Archive | self-approval

Make a Powerful Declaration to the Universe

If you are allowing any outside source to negatively affect how you feel about yourself, it’s time to make a declaration to the Universe.

By saying the pronouncement I created below for 30 days (or by making up one of your own), you are bound to elevate your energy and power to a whole new level.  

“Today, I’m taking back my power by not allowing the behaviors, actions, or comments of another influence how I feel about me. I value myself too much to deem myself unworthy of kindness, courtesy, dignity and respect. Additionally, I declare today that I’m ready for all the financial, health, career and relational abundance that my enhanced worthy mindset makes available to me.”   

Please share any positive statements you’ll be proclaiming?

Click here for personal-growth coaching information or to schedule an appointment.

Click here for my book, The Right Relationship Starts with You

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Deactivate People Pleasing Buttons

We’ve all heard the refrain, “Just say No!” or “Speak Your Truth” in response to undesirable requests or unpleasant behaviors from other people.

Clearly easier said than done!

For instance, many of us can relate to saying ‘Yes’ when we wanted to say ‘No’ because we didn’t want to hurt someone’s feelings or appear unkind in our honesty.  So, we agreed to the request with our words, which didn’t align with what we really wanted to say.

In these cases, it’s easy to blame the other person for our dishonest answer, but often it is our own people pleasing habits, or fear of confrontation that made us go against our true preferences, desires, wants and needs.

That said, it isn’t about blaming ourselves either! Rather, it’s about more quickly recognizing that our pleasing button has been pushed, and use awareness to more quickly deactivate it.

Certainly, nothing wrong with helping others feel good, but that’s different than going against ourselves or reacting out of obligation.

Surely, none of us want to hide who we are in order to gain approval from others, but we can fall into that trap sometimes to keep the peace. Unfortunately, this always backfires on us!

Though we might make someone else happy by our compliance, we are left feeling miserable in our abandonment of self. Obviously, with easygoing people, it is easier to have reasonable conversations where you communicate and listen to each other’s point of view and make decisions accordingly.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case, as not everyone welcomes our truth, and their displeasure can be transmitted with hostility, criticism and the like.

Ultimately, we have to get rid of the notion that it is selfish to say ‘no’ or to have conflicting preferences or points of view from those around us.

Only by living in alignment can we experience authentic relationships where each person follows their own internal guidance system and responds accordingly, rather than allowing others to monopolize the relationship by only taking their desires into account.

Whom or what triggers you into people pleasing behavior?

Click here for personal-growth coaching information or to schedule an appointment.

Click here for my book, The Right Relationship Starts with You

Fear Criticism Less

I had a speech teacher many years ago whose words were very impactful and have stayed with me all this time. My classmates and I back then, had feared getting up in front of the class and giving a less than perfect speech.

Bluntly, she told us that nobody cared about how good our speech would be, because everyone was too busy worrying about delivering their own speeches and fearing the reactions they would receive as well.

For those that did care, she informed us that even if we provided a flawless presentation, there would always be someone who was not satisfied, and that no matter how ‘perfect’ our speech turned out to be, there would always be someone who didn’t like it or us.

Importantly, she taught us that we may as well relax, be authentic, have a good time and please ourselves, rather than worrying about pleasing everyone else!

Ironically, by relaxing and enjoying ourselves, we ultimately ended up giving better speeches anyway!

Ultimately, resisting criticizing ourselves is most important and replacing self critical thoughts with more approving sentiments is key! By doing so, we fear external criticism less and look to lead an authentic life more.

So, whenever we are tempted to submerge who we really are and not follow our goals, dreams or aspirations in an attempt to avoid external criticism, we need to remember that we can’t please everyone.

Instead, we can please ourselves by following our inspired pursuits, and experience all the joy that achieving our endeavors will bring us!

What approving thoughts keep criticism from stopping you?

The Right Relationship Starts with You