Tag Archive | self-love

Give Yourself Permission

permission

Cheryl Richardson and Christiane Northrup are authors I really connect with on all matters relating to self-care. That being said, below are some wonderful permission slips offered on Dr. Northrup’s blog for taking better care of ourselves.

Enjoy!

  1. Rest when you need to. If you are tired, give yourself permission to sleep. The dishes, the laundry, and the work you didn’t finish today will still be waiting for you tomorrow.
  1. Feel joy every day. Paint, sing, dance, play music, and have sex if you so desire.
  1. Let go of toxic relationships. Toxic people drain you. Work on creating relationships with people who support you as you are.
  1. Love your body. Stop comparing yourself to the air brushed models in the media. Dress the way you want. Do your hair the way you like it.  If this is difficult, do mirror work and tell your body how much you love it.
  1. Trust your intuition. Step out of your comfort zone and go for whatever feels right – maybe it is a new career path, a new health or fitness program, or simply speaking up when you feel the need.
  1. Simplify your life. Focus on what truly matters to you. Don’t let yourself get derailed by drama.
  1. Forgive yourself. Forgiveness is a process. Find time every day to practice forgiveness.
  1. Say “yes.” Saying “yes” to yourself is empowering. Say “yes” to whatever you want in your life, and say “no” to whatever you don’t want.
  1. Feel the guilt. Realize that the guilt you are feeling is probably just cultural programming. Thank it for sharing and release it.
  1. Be yourself. Accept yourself exactly as you are. You don’t have to fit any cultural mold.

Which one speaks loudest to you today?

 

Let Go of the Outcome

let go

At some point in our life, we all experience times when something doesn’t go our way, even when we have taken all the right actions.

For instance, we might have returned to school to study a particular trade, but didn’t land our dream job right out of school. Or we might have been turned down for a promotion we worked hard for, or didn’t get the dream house we desired after saving for many years.

It is normal to have certain expectations about the outcomes we desire. However, if we don’t get the results we want, then we have to let go in the present moment, and trust that the outcome will be better for us down the road.

Letting go, and accepting a particular outcome doesn’t mean giving up or abandoning our dreams altogether, it just means we might have to find another way, or move in a different direction for the time being.

It is usually only in hindsight, that we can see the blessings behind the postponements. Thankfully, we usually end up finding a better job, starting our own company, or finding a better house than the one we originally planned on.

Experiencing any disappointment can be a challenge while we are going through it, but finding acceptance will make it a much more peaceful process. One way to find acceptance is by being grateful for what we already have, as expressed in a section of my book below.

‘Having a grateful heart makes us aware of all the wonderful things we currently have in our life, and an appreciation for all the gifts we’ve been given in the past. Increasing our awareness on a daily basis of all the good we have now and wish to receive, begins with “gratitude thinking.”

A good way to maintain a feeling of gratitude is to write down five or more things we’re grateful for each day, and really feel the appreciation.

We can also take the written list one step further as Dr. Christiane Northrup does, and keep a video log, where we record something we are grateful for each day too! That way, we have a visual book which is fun to look at as well.

By installing a daily habit of gratitude, we are nurturing our mind and heart with loving support, and developing trust that the right outcome for us is on the way!

How do you keep positive in the face of disappointments?

 

Follow Proven Steps to Success

jack canfield 3

Many of us remember the scene in the comedy, When Harry Met Sally, where the onlooking customer in the restaurant says, “I’ll have what she’s having.” This of course, was in response to Sally enjoying an incredibly pleasurable lunch! 🙂

Similarly, many of us look to those who are successful, and wish we could experience the same level of gratification that they are feeling.

This is certainly attainable if we do what they’re doing. Many of the most successful people seem to share certain habits and strategies, which have guided them on their journey to achieving their dreams.

Jack Canfield, co-creator of the bestselling Chicken Soup for the Soul series, is definitely an inspiring example of one who has mastered the strategies necessary to achieve his visions, and shares them in his wonderful book, The Success Principles.

This inspiring guide contains over 60 timeless principles that can be adapted to our own life, and increase our confidence along the way.

I particularly enjoyed the chapter on goal setting, as it really motivated me to make this a regular habit, and experience some fun in the process. Although some of us feel our goals need to be massive in scope, this is not necessarily the case.

Jack suggests that even the smallest of objectives make life rich and rewarding. The point is to set goals each day that feel good, and keep us looking forward to the day ahead.

This can include anything from thinking more positively, to larger endeavors such as career changes or traveling the world.

So, if you find yourself wanting what someone else is having, let it inspire you to start setting goals today!

Believe in the Positive

postive thoughts in ocean

I’m sure we’ve all had our turn at disbelieving the power of positive thinking, and finding negative thinking to be more realistic.

In actuality, negative thinking is the lie that tells us that we aren’t smart enough or deserving in some way and to keep quiet during troubling times. These thoughts of perceived personal inadequacies, all stem from years of conditioning, and repetition.

Even worrying can become a fear based thought habit that can seem to help prevent bad things from happening, but actually just creates more anxiety, and takes away our peace of mind.

Usually, what we worry about doesn’t happen, so it’s just our mind telling us all kinds of fearful or self-defeating messages.

It’s unlikely we’ll be able to permanently prevent every negative thought or self-criticism from coming into our mind but when such thoughts do arrive, we can bring awareness to them.

We can remind ourselves that it’s just an old lie we’ve bought into, and we don’t have to believe everything we think.

In order to keep our mind calm, and trained to see the brighter side of life, there are many processes we can install to receive positive mental replenishment.

We’ve probably heard of many of these already such as meditation, reading positive literature, saying affirmations or reciting a regular mantra to reprogram our brain.

I would also add that surrounding ourselves with things that are aesthetically pleasing in our homes or enjoying outside activities such as sitting by the ocean, hiking a mountain, swimming in a pool or planting in the garden are just as mentally replenishing as well.

Additionally, keeping in contact with our family, friends and other supportive people who we feel wonderful spending time with can keep us upbeat and refueled too.

In spite of doing these optimistic practices, having a positive mindset will not save us from ever receiving bad news, or feeling sad.

However, having an optimistic mentality does provide us with more energy to engage in activities that bring us joy, and provides more opportunities to feel good a vast majority of the time.

It also strengthens our ability to ask for help when we need it, and helps prevent some of the pains associated with stressful thinking such as depression and hopelessness.

So, we get to choose on a daily basis to either listen to our unhelpful programmed beliefs, or defer to a more enlightened part of ourselves.

positive thoughts child in water

What helps you stay positive?

Retain Your Joy

keep calmMany situations can tempt us to allow our joy to be taken from us, such as an unkind comment or betrayal in a friendship.

Certainly, these scenarios can be confusing, and upsetting, which takes some time to process. However, what adds to the pain is feeling bad about ourselves or blaming ourselves for why others are acting in certain ways.

While no one is perfect, and we can unintentionally exacerbate a perplexing situation, we are not the cause of another persons choice in behavior. We all have a choice on how we respond to life, and in our relationships.

This includes the choice to not believe any negative thoughts we have about ourselves which can steal our joy as well.

Often, it is a blessing when challenges or discomfort occurs because it lets us know it may be time to move on, or stand up for ourselves or learn how to handle emotions in a less personally damaging way.

Staying positive preserves our happy spirit, contains our personal power, and boosts our energy needed to take the necessary actions we need to take.

We are stronger than we think, and have a bigger impact than we know. If we become discouraged or frustrated for too long, than we won’t make the positive impact we are called to make both individually, and in our world.

So, keeping our joy is not about denying that pain exists or being inauthentic in our responses. It is about not allowing ourselves to lose hope, or pleasure, and keeping focused on what is good and possible.

What helps you keep your joy?

 

 

 

Treat Yourself like A Special Guest

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

– Oscar Wilde 

self love

 

 

 

 

 

 

Think of all the effort we extend when we have company coming over for the holidays or other festive celebrations. We often display our best tableware, candles and linens for our special guests. Additionally, we spend a lot of time and care in presenting a beautiful meal to go along with the picturesque scene.

Unfortunately, many of us never think of extending that same kind of care and effort for just ourselves. For instance, we probably would not think to use a beautiful place setting or create a fabulous feast for our solitary evening meal. This kind of self-nurturing can sound self-indulgent and foolish to many of us, and a complete waste of time.

We often discount such a treat by saying something like, “no use making a great meal only for myself.” This suggests that in order to do nice things for ourselves we have to be entertaining others, celebrating a special occasion or have some other reason for such pageantry.

Certainly, some preparations may be too time consuming to perform on a daily basis but treating ourselves like a special guest and friend can be a mind-set we adopt on an overall basis.

Not surprisingly, there may be some who unintentionally help us feel guilty or silly for embracing these ideas as well.

This is especially true when our self-care extends to other areas of our life, and conflicts with the expected behaviors assigned to us. For example, a friend of mine decided to postpone an out of town visit with loved ones, and was met with an unpleasant interrogation as a result.

As author Alan Cohen, contributing writer for the New York Times best-selling series Chicken Soup for the Soul reminds us, “We do not need to rationalize, explain, or defend our self-nurturing to anyone. If an activity brings us peace and delight, that is reason enough.”

When we aren’t true to ourselves and don’t do what makes us happy, we are basically “playing a part” and “acting” out the roles we have been assigned. Nothing is emptier than discounting and sacrificing ourselves for the approval and expectations of others.

This type of inauthentic relating can only lead to a heightened desire to stay away from those we are role playing with anyway.

It is freeing to know that there are no rules as to when we can officially do good things for ourselves; we can do it today, for no other reason than just because we want to.

Action Step:

Ask yourself, “If my good friend were coming over, what wonderful lunch or activity would I prepare?” Then treat yourself accordingly and prepare that for yourself.